Back to Attack Phase Day 4

I'm back I'm back!

11:30AM

Weight: 52.0 kg (-1 since Monday)

Fat Percentage: 30.0 (-0.7)

Total Weight Lost: 2.3 kg

btw.. it's day 4 coz I took a little break on Tuesday to have dinner out with my close friends. so we had... some beer (BAD).. but I barely ate any rice or noodles, we mostly ate meat.

I've been so distracted lately...

had a big decision to make - whether or not I should go back to school in New York or stay in Taiwan to work. I know... it would be awesome to go back to school but it's so expensive and after I graduate I'll be 29 years old and starting over... I'll be really BEHIND.

I don't know... I'm so freakin indecisive I hate it. I just wanna be sure what I wanna do and just do it! I can't even be sure. Reality is really kicking in and it's super depressing.

Anyways here's what I ate today.

Late Breakfast/Lunch:

Oat bran porridge with skim milk

2 eggs sunny side up 

Snack:

low-fat greek yogurt 170g

Dinner:

1 full cream milk 400g

scrambled mushrooms (squeezed out surface oil with tissue)

1 piece of mackarel (I'm assuming its pan-fried)

Exercise:

1 hour of body combat (totally killed me but it rocked!!!)

I'm not following the Dukan Diet completely because I've been having full fat or low fat dairy products and I eat out quite a bit so sometimes I can't really control how much oil there is, but I try to to keep it to a minimum by pressing them in kitchen paper towels to squeeze the oil out. The past few days I had insane cravings for nuts so I had some. I try to keep the amount I eat in check though, since I'm not following the diet 100%, I don't just eat as much as I want (according to Dr. Dukan, if you eat what's on the list, you can eat as much as you want)

I'm going to a barbeque outing with my sister and her coworkers tomorrow and I asked my sister to keep me in check, NO CARBS. No oil will not be possible because I don't wanna look like a freak trying to press oil out of all the food I eat... :S

Back to Attack Phase...

SO.... I drank on Friday night and got DRUNK

and then the next day I tried to get over my hang over by stuffing myself silly with greasy food including CARBS.. so my weight this morning... after very little sleep (I've been going through a little drama these 2 days about work life) is HORROR

Weight: 53.0 kg (+1.1)

Fat Percentage: 30.7% (+0.8)

Total Weight Lost: 1.3 kg

and that's why I'm back to Attack phase for today!

Breakfast: 

1 mug of skim milk

Lunch:

3 eggs (2 yolks) scrambled

Oat bran porridge with a little fat free greek yogurt and some more skim milk

Dinner:

PROCESSED FOOD (4 kinds of meat/squid balls + a little bit of clear soup)

small bag of nuts (CHEAT)

1 small cup of cappuccino (CHEAT because they used regular milk)

That's all for today. I really should get some sleep...

Cruise Phase Day 6 - PV

DIE DIE DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!

I CHEATED today... And it's no small cheat, it's a MAJOR cheat... Arghhhh I'm so mad at myself I'm really trying to get over it now.

Everything was fine today.
I slept well all through the night till 11 AM
Weight: 51.9 kg (-0.4)
Body Fat Percentage: 29.9% (-0.1)
Total Weight Lost: 2.4 kg

Freakin good right??? Like finally!!!

So I had a nice brunch.. The usual oatbran porridge and didn't have an extra mug of skim milk this time. I also made myself a nice tuna omelette with low-fat cheese. And I had 4 packs of Korean seaweed - not all in one sitting but throughout the morning while I sat around watching TV.

Then I decided to get off my lazy ass, go out to Starbucks to read before my body combat class at 6. And then... I passed by that new bakery again and I knew they had samples, I hesitated but still decided to walk in and gobbled down like 5 samples and since the place is quite small with only one other customer, I felt bad and embarrassed for eating all the samples without buying anything. So I made a rash and horrible... Like really HORRIBLE decision... to just buy one bread and throw it away later. I know I'm such a bad person and COMPLETELY insane :( Once I left the bakery and crossed the road to the bus stop, I decided I'll just take a few bites and throw the rest away once my bus arrives. Within seconds my bus arrives and I saw the bus driver see me nibble on a big piece of bread and I panicked and was like I can't throw it away now?! He'll see me do it and think what a waste!!! And so I hopped on the bus with the big forbidden piece of carby deliciousness in my hands.. And you've proli guessed it, by the time i got off the bus, the bread that was as big as my face (or bigger) has shrunk to the size of my palm. A few more steps down the road towards Starbucks, I had eaten the whole.damn.thing...

As if this was not enough. I rationalized with myself that I'll have my carb fix today and since I've cheated I might as well try that apple and cranberry yogurt parfait I've been eyeing at Starbucks for the past week. They even gave me a pack of crunchy cereal with raisins in it to go with it!!! I wolfed it down in a matter of minutes, a million thoughts going through my head. But oh it tasted like heaven... And I have gone to hell.

Im really hoping this slip up doesn't cause my body to react negatively since I haven't had this much carbs and sugar for the past 1.5 weeks. Man it's only been 1.5 weeks and it seems like forever. I'm happy with my progress today but so mad at myself for ruining it and totally going off track. Normally I'd proli go all out on a carb binge tonight and start over tomorrow. But I ain't gonna do that. This will be it for today. It's almost 4pm and I was planning to have a chicken salad for dinner but I've more than made up for that. Yes I have. I'm gonna have one day of attack phase tomorrow. And then oh no it's going to be Friday and it's girls night out!!! On the bright side, since I had a slip up today and got my carb fix maybe I won't go crazy on Friday? I hope so, I really gotta have faith in myself!

Some encouragement

 This is what Mila Kunis said...

“I’m a huge foodie, I love food. But when people say, ‘I can’t lose weight’,
no no no, you can. Your body can do everything and anything,
 you just have to want to do it.”

Read full article here: http://www.celebritydietdoctor.com/mila-kunis-says-anyone-can-lose-weight/#more-21319

YES I WANT TO DO IT. The only thing I'm failing at is self-doubt and being scared and impatient. When things don't go well I start doubting my methods and thinking if I should switch. Just like right now I feel like the Dukan Diet is too restrictive and the work is not paying off... I feel like I could have the same progress if I just eat less but still eat carbs and fruits. booo.. but anyway I'm still gonna keep following this method but follow it more closely or else I can't say it's not working.. I'm just not following it right.

Anyways I went ahead and searched for Mila Kunis' diet and apparently she had to lose a lot of weight from her already petite frame for the movie "Black Swan". She did it with a 1,200 calorie diet while training hard with a ballet instructor for 5-6 months. So WHY am I whining about being stuck at 52.3-4 for the past 6 days? I just have to keep doing this. I'm definitely not training to be a ballerina, but I'll work out more, and I know that on the Dukan Diet you don't have to count calories, but I'll try to keep the amount I'm eating in check! lets go lets go!!!

Here's Mila in the movie "Black Swan"

Some more thinspo... gawd she's gorgeous!

 

 Just beautiful...

 love her outfit here

love this look too <3 <3 <3