9:40AM
Weight: 52.7 kg (+0.2) BOOOOOO
Fat Percentage: 30.4 (-0.1)
Total Weight Lost: 1.6 kg
I GAINED today.. I'm thinking its coz of my period and I didn't have coffee yesterday (coffee makes me poop) so yea... I know most of the weight I've lost is probably water weight, losing the fat will take longer, I just really gotta be patient. Good thing though, my fat percentage went down! Just hope that I could lose more weight when my period ends!
Breakfast:
1 mug of low-fat milk
1 oat bran galette
2 eggs scrambled
1 0kcal jelly (the bad one I bought yesterday)
few pieces of sugar free gum
Lunch:
1 piece of pan-fried chicken thigh
1 small mug of low-fat milk
Snack:
1 small carton of skim milk
2 tea eggs (no yolks)
1 black coffee with sweet n' low
Dinner:
滷味 (adobo stuff) : 4 pieces of tofu, 2 konjac stuff (蒟蒻腰子), 2 mushroom&pork meat balls
I got these adobo stuff from a popular bakery. I was just planning to have a little and leave the rest for tomorrow but I ended up eating them all.. -____- boo me
Work out:
1 hour of body combat class
Today when I was walking to the bus stop, I passed by the new bakery on my way and found out that it's actually open today. So I walked in to check it out (REALLY SHOULDN'T HAVE DONE THAT) and they had samples................ and I had THREE samples of different breads... I totally SUCK!!! I feel so bad that I cheated that I'm considering doing another day of attack phase because I didn't follow my attack phase rules completely :( I planned to not eat anything after my work out but I still ate all those adobo stuff!!!!!! freakkkkkkkkk and now I'm super gassy (pardon my straightforwardness) but I can feel my stomach growling, not from hunger but from gas that is just stuck!!! I'm gonna blame all this on my period.
So I was facebooking today and found out that my ex boyfriend started dating this girl whose SUPER HOT. She's super pretty and is very thin!!!!!!!! arghhhhhhhhhhh I want to be thin so badly. I've never been super thin. The only time I've come close to being really thin was the last few years of high school when I was 44-45 kg. I maintained that weight EFFORTLESSLY. grrrrr I'd give anything to go back to that weight.
You know I would be so much more sociable if only I was thin and didn't have to worry about what I eat. OR if I was thin and had my eating under control even if I'm in the company of others. See, one of my biggest problem is that I would do ok or do pretty well with my diet and then when I go out to eat with my friends or family, or go out drinking with friends I never know when enough is enough. I ALWAYS go overboard. I eat till I'm too full, I drink till I'm too drunk and embarrass myself. I can't seem to just keep everything in MODERATION. It seems I can only do extremes especially when I'm obsessed with losing weight... this extreme thing gets WORSE when I start obsessing, that's why whenever I freak out about gaining weight and try to diet I end up GAINING weight. Next Friday 4/27 my friends invited me for drinks at a bar with really good cocktails and shots and then clubbing. I wish I could cancel because I know it's gonna ruin my diet. I'm not even supposed to drink then. The only thing I can do is choose lower calorie cocktails or just drink straight liquor, keep my hands off fried foods / anything with carbs and dance dance dance!!
anyways back to the thing about being sociable. yes I would totally be so much more sociable if I was thin. I've been avoiding to hangout with a lot of my friends, people I haven't seen in a long time because A. I don't want them to see how much weight I've gained. B. I don't wanna go out to eat and ruin my strict diet. So I just hang out with myself these days, trying to work hard on my diet but still manage to cheat!!! this is just so frustrating. I've become so unhappy and so low in confidence because of my weight. it's completely taken over my life and I want to be OUT OF THIS RUT. I know I'm gonna get myself out of it. I gotta. I wanna be happy with myself again.
It's my sister's high school graduation at the end of May. and I'll have to fly abroad to attend her graduation. I think around that time I'd still be on cruise phase so that means I'LL HAVE TO CONTINUE ON WHILE IM ABROAD. my parents will proli give me shit about this strict diet and I'll have to let my two best friends (who plan to join me on this trip) know about it and proli get shit about it from them too. but I REALLY REALLY don't want to ruin it this time. I've tried going on so many strict diets only to completely ruin all my hard work by gaining it back within a week of eating whatever I want when my family comes back to stay with me, or when I go on a trip. This time I want to completely consolidate my weight loss and start living my life after reaching Stabilization phase which will be....... I duno in July hopefully?? the Dukan website estimated that I will reach my true weight (49.89 kg) and be done with Consolidation phase by June 28th... and since I want to lose more than that... I'll be lucky if I could finish Considation phase by end of July. Patience Patience.......
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