Cruise Phase Day 3 - PP

7:30AM 

Weight: 52.4 kg (+0.1)

Fat Percentage: 29.6% (-0.6)

Total Weight Lost: 1.9 kg

Total Fat Percentage Dropped: 1.2%

I woke up so early this morning and couldn't sleep anymore...

I should have went for a walk or a run but got lazy...

Breakfast: 

Oat Bran Porridge + some more skim milk

2 scrambled eggs

1 piece of low-fat cheese

Lunch:

Full mug of skim milk
2 hotdogs............. (RAWWRRRRRR NOOOOOO)

1 coke zero

Snack:

1 coffee with a little cream

1 "Onsen" egg (these marinated eggs proli with LOADS of Sodium from 7-11)

Dinner:

Milk fish soup (so good! except I didn't eat the belly fat coz the taste was a little too strong)

low-fat greek yogurt (170g)

1 0kcal jelly

OK I have to start setting some ground rules for myself.. because I am clearly not following the Dukan Diet right. Dukan sends me some emails and it says that you should eat ALL NATURAL foods... so starting tomorrow:

1. No more hotdogs or any other processed meats like meat balls
2. Cut down on sugar free gum and 0kcal jelly (occasional diet soda is OK in case I go crazy...)
3. All dairy must be NON-FAT (exception of tolerated foods)
   No more than 2 mugs of skim milk a day, less if I've already eaten a lot that day
4. No more cream in my coffee 

My weight has not moved BOOO... but good news is my body fat percentage dropped! However I do realize that I've been weighing myself at very different times, and your weight and body fat percentage does change a bit throughout the day. I'm gonna try to weigh myself at around 9-930 everyday. That would be more accurate! My period is reaching its end so I REALLY have to get my game up!!! 2 hotdogs today is just super ridiculous (slap myself)

I've been day dreaming about what I'd do if I could eat whatever I want in whatever amount everyday and still maintain below 45 kgs, fat percentage below 15%. Wouldn't that be such a dream come true? What if I would lose weight EASILY if I don't consume more than 10,000 calories a day?? I know I'm crazy for thinking like this but this is how insane I am about food.. It's really hard to admit and I'm even ashamed of it but I just wanna like INDULGE and stuff my face, LITERALLY. I was day dreaming of where I would go to get what kind of food the minute I know that my metabolism has been super charged for the rest of my life. Let's see my list involves finally going to Coldstone to get a huge bowl of ice cream with all the good junk in it, and as if that's not enough, I would totally stock my freezer with tubs and tubs of haagen daaz ice cream (macadamia nut, dolce leche flavor and those with biscuit goodness in them). I'd wanna go to different bakery shops and actually BUY and EAT all those beautiful breads and pastries I've been eyeing on like a crazy woman, chow down on a huge greasy cheese burger and fries, finish a whole breakfast set with pancake (lots of butter) and eggs & sausage... and the list goes on and on and on...  God.. I really don't want think like this, I feel so helpless and gross. I feel on the brink of falling down a cliff and completely losing control every single day. I'm simply sick. and shamingly obsessed. and sad.